Incazzato Nero: Serie A Shame
The worst-ever home defeats of Napoli, Milan, Juve, Roma, Inter and Lazio
0–4. Not since 1997 had Napoli been thrashed at home by such a heavy margin.
Despite Milan’s mediocre form, and despite Napoli’s breathtaking ascent to the summit of Serie A, Rafael Leao and Brahim Diaz combined to punish Neapolitan complacency with four brilliant goals.
The stench of the Devil had left its mark. The beasts and barbarians of the North had desecrated the sacred sanctuary of Partenopei worship, converting it to a cemetery if only for just one evening. Tumultuous applause was evoked by those who want to see Napoli crumble and those who dreamed that an allied intervention could possibly deny the provinces a rare league title.
There’s something about humans. The way we love to win, and the way we love to see our adversaries ripped apart. Enemies can become friends for a common agenda.
Losing by a big margin hurts, but it’s agonisingly amplified when it’s in your own backyard. And with WhatsApp, no one is safe from a rapid-fire taunts. Here we’ll take a look at the excruciating home defeats of Italy’s strongest clubs. Enjoy the calcio carcasses of Juve, Milan, Inter, Roma, Lazio and Napoli that were left smouldering on display in their own cities.
First up, the red and black elephant that stunk up the room.
April 2023: Napoli 0 Milan 4
Defending Serie A champion AC Milan turned up to remind the league leaders that winning the Scudetto should never be THAT easy for a provincial club.
The struggle should be real
But the Azzurri had lost only three of their previous 32 matches in Serie A, a formidable record that any club would stand behind. Despite Napoli’s honourable, valiant return to top-flight football in 2007, there were questionable defeats against Lazio, 2–4 in 2015, and Roma, 2–4 in 2018 and 0–3 in 2008 (Spalletti’s Roma) back when Gianello, Contini and Santacroce formed part of the Neapolitan’s backline.
However, not since 1997 had Napoli lost at home by such a margin of this magnitude, an embarrassing 0–4 belting against Crespo’s Parma at the then-Stadio San Paolo in mid-December.
Dino Baggio rocketed home from forty yards in this one.
Then there were those pre-ADL thrashings. There was Napoli 1 Bologna 5 where Pierre Wome’s thunderous hit had Ferdinando Coppola flapping at thin air, and that ridiculous Coppola-Baldini own goal.
1992: Napoli 1 Milan 5
It was obvious that Milan’s Invincibles would win the league again while Napoli finished level with Foggia in eleventh. Marco Van Basten scored four times and was applauded by 60,000 Napoli fans for his efforts.
While still in his pomp, Van Basten would score one more career goal before hanging up his boots and those troublesome ankles. As I’d outlined previously, this isn’t just a hit piece on Napoli.
2015: Milan 0 Napoli 4
The Lorenzo Insigne Show was on tour, live at the San Siro. Who could forget as he carved up that Milan defence of Zapata, Antonelli, De Sciglio and Rodrigo Ely as efficiently as Nonno Ciro’s cumpare down at the macello in Melito.
That Insigne set-piece for 0–3 had the locals side-stepping each other on the way out.
Moving right along.
2008: Roma 0 Inter 4
Much like Napoli over the past fifteen years, many have branded Roma as the jealous bridesmaid watching on while her older three sisters shared in the spoils.
To rub salt into the wound, it was the current Roma boss, Jose Mourinho who’d orchestrated the symphony of agony at the Olimpico as Zlatan Ibrahimović broke the offside trap to chip Doni and then parade around some unpalatable defending to make it 0–2.
A bizarre forcefield protected Júlio César’s goal from everything Roma bombarded it with. Dejan Stanković and Victor Obinna proceeded to finish off the job from outside the box. Mourinho went on to win the Scudetto that season while Spalletti struggled with a weakened squad to finish 6th.
How the tables have turned in 2023.
2013: Inter 2 Udinese 5
Andrea Stramaccioni’s sensational start to the 2012–13 season saw Inter triumph in nine of the first eleven matches but concluded evanescently with just two wins in the final eleven.
Udinese stormed the Meazza on the final day of the season. Here’s a reminder of those funky odour emissions of the Nerazzurri defensive unit which consisted of Alvaro Pereira, Yuto Nagatomo and Juan Jesus.
Calamitous
Behold Juan Jesus’ spin & swing as Giampiero Pinzi sneaks in for 0–1, embrace the lack of tenacity as Antonio Di Natale curls in from the perimeter, survey the acres of space as Gabriel Silva chips Samir Handanovič, and amuse yourselves at the festival of indecisiveness as Luis Muriel tucks away Le Zebrette’s fifth to make the Benemeata look like a social league side.
Inter’s misery was compounded by finishing below Catania in 9th position and Juventus winning scudetto #29. From Bianconeri greatness to another kind of Bianconeri incompetence. Andiamoci.
2011: Juventus 1 Parma 4
Yes, I could have gone with the 0–3 defeat to Milan in 2010 where Ronaldinho scored a brace and Alessandro Nesta accumulated one of eight precious Serie A goals.
But what makes the Parma victory even sweeter is the bitter taste in Fabio Paratici’s mouth after he sent Sebastian Giovinco on loan to Parma. He also gave up Juve’s share of Raffaele Palladino to the Gialloblu for free. Fool me once…you know the rest.
It was a “case of the ex” as the Giovinco-Palladino partnership combined for three goals. Paratici was force fed home-made humble pie as Juve stacked it into a seventh-placed finish with Chiellini marshalling the defence alongside Sorenson and Legrottaglie.
2002: Lazio 1 Roma 5
The Olimpico hasn’t exactly been an impenetrable fortress for Lazio over the years as Inter, Napoli, Juventus, Milan and even Chievo Verona have all waltzed away with 0–3 victories.
Then there’s Max Allegri’s Cagliari that came and conquered 1–4 in 2009 courtesy of a Jeda double, and Milan who’d popped over in 2007 to leave a 1–5 stench with Kaká and Alberto Gilardino stinking up the restrooms.
Vergogna
There’s nothing worse than your closest neighbours shamelessly humiliating you at YOUR designated home match in the Derby della Capitale.
Vincenzo Montella’s glorious poker (4 goal haul) included a first-half tripletta. Just when Laziali thought it couldn’t get any worse, remote controls were hurled at televisions across the region when Francesco Totti chipped Angelo Peruzzi from 25 yards with a breathtaking palonetto.
Consolation Goal: Dejan Stanković’s drive from 35 yards was matched by Montella’s fourth of the night.
Fabio Capello’s opulent Roma squad retained the lavish triumvirate of Antonio Cassano, Damiano Tommasi and Gabriel Batistuta on the sidelines, the latter spearheading Fiorentina to a 1–4 victory here four seasons earlier.
The 2002 defeat triggered nightmares of the 0–4 home loss to Roma back in November of 1960 when former Lupo and Serie A capocannoniere Pedro Manfredini hit his very own first-half hat trick.
To make matters worse, the 1–5 defeat was part of Roma’s ten-match undefeated derby streak that lasted until 2005. The record winning margin was set back in 1933 with Roma winning 5–0 in a home fixture, and the most recent one-sided affair was Roma’s 1–4 away win in 2016.
2014: Inter 1 Cagliari 4
The players may not always feel it, but the tifosi certainly do. It’s a humbling moment when provincial southerners crush your team as if it was Barcelona turning up at their brutal best.
But this was relegation-bound Cagliari in 2014–15. It’s up there with when your cousins get to the lasagne tray first at Easter lunch and leave you with the soggy remains. They gobble it up greedily while you require two spoons. A pernicious act that can not be forgiven and only avenged.
What’s even more baffling is HOW did Albin Ekdal score a hat trick? Even HE couldn’t believe it, but I’m sure Andreolli, Juan Jesus and Dodô weren’t exactly shocked.
Needless to say, Walter Mazzarri lasted another month, replaced by Roberto Mancini who couldn’t prevent Inter finishing in 8th and then would cop a 1–4 loss to Paolo Sousa’s Fiorentina later that year.
There you go. Why not share the misery around equally? Soul-destroying disappointments are part of the game. Just ask the hundreds of other clubs around the peninsula. We all love to see our enemies burn.
The question now is Who’s Next?
